The Keys to a Great Mansion

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:30:06 -0700

Eve Darling here.
As a candidate for president in our last great election, convention dictated that I pull some punches. After all, the exercise of offering oneself for popular acclaim in the form of sufficient votes to win the presidency is a rather blatant attempt to be all things to all people. Though I continue to represent our dear National Optimists Party and shall champion the cause of an ideal future for all for all of my days, I an unbound from any obligation to curry favor and so can speak to you somewhat more frankly than I was able to do during the last election cycle.
Look, we have been given the keys to a great mansion, yet all we do is rumble about in the dark basement. We have everything needed, right at hand, to imagine and create a glorious, fantastically rich future for all people and to fulfill our self-defined mandate as good shepherds of our natural domain. But to do so, we must light a candle, not simply curse the darkness afflicting our dank subterranean lair. We must ascend the basement stairs to take in the light of our majestic mansion, the great inheritance of humankind. Seeing as if for the first time, we’ll not be able to escape noticing certain things about ourselves. Certain assumptions we have long held of ourselves will be called into question. Seeing as in the light of a new day, in sumptuous surroundings commensurate with our true station, we see that we reveals that humanity credit ourselves with qualities we have not permanently possessed, like civilization, like free will, like consciousness.
What would life be like if we really were conscious, civilized and could exert free will?
If we had free will, we would eliminate pain and suffering.
If we were conscious, we would eliminate accidents and senescence.
If we were civilized, we would be good stewards of our home planet and plan to build a future independent of our solar system, a future in which we could sow the seeds of civilization on a far broader scale.

Increase the Defense Budget

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 13:20:52 -0700

We propose increasing the budget for the Department of defense by a trillion dollars a year for the first four years of our administration. We further propose to break the Department of Defense up into two distinct agencies – the Department of the Past and the department of the Future. The smaller of the two, the Department of the Past will be charged with pacifying warring factions wherever they are found and enforcing the peace. The Department of the Future will be charged with administering research, development and deployment of ways and means to insure a vital, vibrant and peaceful future for all. If these tasks are accomplished in a timely manner, our second administration will see these agencies budgets shrink by ninety percent, in favor of allowing the private sector to continue with the maintenance and furtherance of said vital, vibrant and peaceful future for all, with the Department of Defense re-established for the purpose of , well, defense, so much or so little as we may need of that old canard.